English is not my first language and I just learned that porcupines and concubines are, in fact, not the same thing.

[u/sixStringedAstronaut]

I also thought hiatus was a state of America. And I used to pronounce comfortable like comfort-table until I was 13. Yeah. What are some misconceptions about the English language you had, native speaker or not?

Edit: since this post is getting quite a bit of attention I thought I'd list some more examples of my stupidity because I was a damn interesting kid.

• You know that bit in Alejandro by Lady Gaga that goes "hot like Mexico, rejoice"? I thought "Mexico rejoice" was a hot sauce that Lady Gaga was comparing this Alejandro guy to, because he was just so hot. • I mentioned this in the comments too, but I used to pronounce British like "Braytish". • I thought fetish was another word for admiration. I may or may not have used that word in that context. • I thought plethora was some sort of plant.

Edit 2: My most upvoted post is one where I talk openly about being stupid and make my country sound like Voldemort's safe haven. Wow.

Edit 3: WHAT THE FUCK, I GOT GOLD????? Can I eat it?

[u/LRats]

Lol they are very, very different things!

This reminds me of a friend's wife. English is not her native language and they were driving by some condominiums. So as they were passing them she told her husband, look at all those condoms!

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/LRats]

I find your friend's wife extremely relatable

[u/skittles_rainbows]

When I was in middle school, Saddam was really cracking down on the Kurdish population and a lot of them were being given political asylum in the US. I was volunteering with an old teacher with some kids who were upper elementary through early high school. They were fresh off the boat. Most had been in refugee camps for years. Their English was not so good, but they wanted to learn the language and the customs of the US. One of the best phrases was, "It's too much hot outside." We would go to the beach regularly (which you do in San Diego) and they would always yell "WE'RE GOING TO THE BITCH." Pronunciation wasn't where it was supposed to be. They were good kids. I still use the phrase, "It's too much hot outside."

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/skittles_rainbows]

That made me chuckle. I love kids sometimes. And I think it was really nice of you that you volunteered to help refugees and all, too. Ah yes, the good old beach vs bitch struggle. I know that too well. There's also the lesser known coke vs cock struggle.

[u/[deleted]]

English is fun like that. Like, hy-per-bo-le, not hy-per-bole. Why is it "pronunciation" while you "pronounce"? The list is endless!

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/[deleted]]

Pronuncation is so damn confusing. I'm fluent in English but I still have no idea how to pronounce some every day words, like "library", "medicine" or "direction". I just mumble and pray.

[u/Wishyouamerry]

My 15 year old daughter (who is a native speaker) pronounces everything wrong. I almost busted a gut last year when she decided to say "hallelujah!"

And this year she came home and said, "I'm my Spanish teacher's favorite student!" I was suspicious and asked why she thought that. She said:

I'm the onlyone in the class who talks to her in Spanish. Every day when the bell rings she says "Adios!" and I say, "Sayonara!" Then she laughs and says, "You're my favorite."

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/Wishyouamerry]

Aw, that's actually really cute. How did she pronounce hallelujah, if you don't mind me asking?

[u/Bacon_Hero]

English is my first language and I just learned what concubine means

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/Bacon_Hero]

We live and we learn I guess

[u/Elydrieth]

Epitome is a fun word. I can never remember the right way to pronounce it so it's a 50/50 chance of me getting it. Luckily I don't use it often. As another non native English speaker I feel your pain. I've made myself look silly so many times, although mostly by mispronouncing things. I do tend to research words so I know how to use them, as I come upon them.

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/Elydrieth]

I feel you on the epitome thing. Fortunately I was told that even native speakers get that wrong a lot too, so you don't have to worry too much about the 50% of the time that you pronounce it wrong. Lmao my best friend (he's from England, we know each other through the internet) will never stop making fun of me for pronouncing extremely like ex-trem-ley or pronouncing British like "braytish" for the longest time

[u/boxster_]

unwritten existence screw person oil offer edge muddle detail judicious

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/boxster_]

Oh God I really hope you didn't refer to morbid things as Mormon out loud I would have died of embarrassment

[u/orangelemonmarmalade]

Instead of hybrid I would say "high bird." 😂

[u/Justin_Timberbaked]

English isn't my native language and sometimes I blank out on the basic English words (like dresser) and replace it with the Czech equalivent.

[u/sixStringedAstronaut → u/Justin_Timberbaked]

I'm the opposite. I use English so much (on the internet, of course) that sometimes I forget words in my native language and use the English equivalent, but with an atrocious accent and bad pronuncation.

[u/SpaceAgeUnicorn]

Native speaker here. I thought chic was pronounced like chick rather than sheek and I thought niche was pronounced like nitch rather than neesh. I still mess up niche sometimes.

Edit: Immediately after I posted this I went to find a pronunciation video for niche AND IT CAN BE PRONOUNCED AS NITCH. FUCK YOU, KARA.

[u/[deleted]]

When my brother and I were young, around 11 and 13, I said something and he went to say touché, but how he said it was toosh.

[u/thefalconator9000]

I am fluent in English (consider it more my primary than secondary) but most of my vocab comes from reading a lot of books. This means some of those words I never heard out loud and so I would have to make educated guesses. My friend had to tell me I was pronouncing "courtesy" incorrectly. The word "court" is in there, how was I supposed to know it was "curt-esy"?

Also lingerie was weird. Learned how to say it right by a friend in high school.

Kind of the opposite but the word "cancel" is for warped in my mind so I can never hear it in my head correctly. I can say it out loud just fine though lol.

[u/justcurious12345]

When I was little I thought it was "thingers and thumbs." That made more sense to me than fingers and thumbs :) I argued with my mom about it until I could read!

[u/Mahxiac]

English is my native language and I only this year finally understood both meanings of the word sorry. I before only understood it to mean I regret doing something like I'm sorry I broke your favorite vase grandma. I would get a bit confused when people would sorry for the death of someone else's loved one. "I'm sorry your uncle burnie died" "why are you sorry did you kill him". In my second language Esperanto in such a situation one says kompaton which means compassion to you or mercy to you. Comparing these two I finally understand sorry also communicates the same basic idea.

[u/El_Proctopus]

I was going to make a dirty joke, but I don't want to come off as a jerk!

For the longest time, I couldn't pronounce melancholy. I didn't realize it was pronounced "melon-collie" and terribly marred it to the point where I can't write how I pronounced it. I also cannot pronounce the "th" sound and roll my r's by accident. I'm a native speaker, I just suck at speaking my native language!

[u/ModernCollectives]

I'm in Britain and when I first came here I used to say yelling instead of shouting (yelling is American I learned) and I used to pronounce yogurt - yo(as in the greeting)gu(didnt really pronounce the r correctly)t

[u/[deleted]]

But a porcupine concubine could be a thing ya know ?