r/SubredditDrama • u/AcrobaticApricot professional redditor • Feb 13 '17
Poppy Approved There's a torrid affair as a user runs out of time to write their homework and heads to /r/hamiltonmusical to get the job done, but he throws away his shot when it's revealed that he's only fifteen (and his mind isn't older).
/r/hamiltonmusical/comments/5tmnw7/hey_guys_i_love_this_musical_but_i_still_have_a/ddnkgd2/289
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u/incredulousbear Feb 13 '17 edited Feb 13 '17
I was amused by the use of baseball players to dupe her elsewhere in the thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/hamiltonmusical/comments/5tmnw7/hey_guys_i_love_this_musical_but_i_still_have_a/ddo36u4
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u/emmanuelsayshai Feb 13 '17
The new DarkWoolf copypasta.
Ok first of all, my daddy is the best lawyer in all of Manhattan, ok? He has a real life human skull in his office, ok? And my mom is an attorney too, so that's that.
But I'm so glad you enjoyed snooping through my private post history. Did you enjoy the part were I was possessed by a prince of Hell? Because that wasn't very fun for me! Or how about that time my friend moved away?? I'm sure that was hilarious for you. Oh my god, when everyone forgot my birthday!! That was pure gold wasn't if?? When this is all over, you'll be arrested for stalking, probably. Ok??
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u/KEM10 Feb 13 '17
I just want that first line to live forever.
Ok first of all, my daddy is the best lawyer in all of Manhattan, ok? He has a real life human skull in his office, ok? And my mom is an attorney too, so that's that.
It could work for so many other professions: politics, economics, ancaps... everything!
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u/Aetol Feb 13 '17
And also Wikipedia is unreliable and that would be plagiarism
Asking randos on reddit to do your assignment for you, however, is much more reliable and completely ethical.
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u/mandaliet Feb 13 '17 edited Feb 13 '17
I feel silly for assuming that the kid's assignment was about Hamilton the musical, and not just a standard American history topic.
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u/yonicthehedgehog Feb 13 '17
how do you even make it to 15 without being able to lie properly lmao
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u/BKMurder101 Feb 13 '17
You could lazily cover that assignment in an hour and a half with Google.
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u/CantGrammarGood Feb 13 '17
Why does every sentance start and end with lol. I cantgrammargood and i still no thats bad.
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u/Pagan-za Feb 13 '17 edited Feb 13 '17
This person is a goldmine of crazy/weird
ALSO THE OCCULT IS NOT BULLSHIT. THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DONT SEEM TO UNDERSTAMD!! IT'S REAL WND IT'S LEGIT! PEOPLE ALAAYS JUDGE ME FOR BELIEVING IN DEMONS BUT NKBODY EVER JUDGES SOMEONE FOR BELJENG IN GOD OR ANGLES DO THEY?? IS IT REALLY THAT CRAY TO THINK THERE ARE FORCES OUT THERE BEYOND OUT UNDERSTANDING?? DO YOU JOT THINK THAT MAYBE JUST MAYBE DEMONS ARE REAL? HOW ELSE WOULD YOU EXPLAIN US EVEN EXISTING AT ALL IF GOD AND SATAN AND MALPHAS AND MAGICK DIDNT EXIST YOU IDIOT??!? WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING STUPID?!?""
Also,
"I'm not a kid I'm practically an adult. I can't drink alcohol or smoke, but I would get a learners permit if I wanted but I don't. I'm not a kid, I can stay up as long as I want."
Edit: Holy shit. Look at their submission history, not their comment history.
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u/ehMac26 Feb 13 '17
I turned 15 January 23, 2017, ok?? I'm not 25 I iust said that because I didn't want anyone on Reddit to know my age or birthday
I have no words
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u/Errk_fu Feb 13 '17
Now she has her own sub.
Rule 1. No asking about Hamilton.
This is great.
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u/qtx Feb 13 '17
I hate people who use lol as a stop word. It drives me up the wall.
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Feb 13 '17
Ok from the guys post history, he's recently posted this, so something tells me he didn't end up finishing his 'totally not homework'
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u/emberdaze Feb 13 '17
That can't be real.