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u/xjayroox Nov 24 '16
You understand the gravity of the massive fireball you just put out there, correct? You have lost the trust of (at least) thousands of users of this website. You have literally, in that petty act, destroyed the credibility of Reddit. Any article that quotes a user post, uncredible. For all people know here, we are all now in danger of the admins throwing child porn into one of our histories, and endangering us.
This was a massive mistake. This is your career, and you put your emotions into making this massive mistake.
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Nov 24 '16
Hello what is this place and how come I can't upvote and comment in all of the linked threads? Are the links broken Mr. Mod?
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u/tigerears Nov 24 '16
Read this, and knock it off.
Is that a euphemism? Because this was some weak erotic fiction tbh.
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u/phedre Nov 24 '16
Sorry, I'll try to include better masturbatory material next time.
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u/snallygaster Nov 24 '16 edited Nov 24 '16
🔫🔫🔫MIDDLE FINGERS 2 DA MOD$ 🔫🔫🔫
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Nov 24 '16
Happens if our insult is creative?
Like, calling someone Benedict Cum in his own hand, Supercalifragicliousexpiali dick cheese, Hagrid's Nutsack, the Jolly Green Jackoff, Tinkerballs, Spewbacca.
I can keep going, so I am assuming that isn't allowed.
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u/phedre Nov 24 '16
ಠ_ಠ
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Nov 24 '16
So, the 60 foot Virgin when referring to Spez is right out?
As is !2 years a slave to jerking off?
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u/phedre Nov 24 '16
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
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u/Dirtybrd Nov 24 '16
It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know.
That said.
In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.
An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.
My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.
I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.
Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.
I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.
I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.
I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.
The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.
I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome.
That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that).
I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator.
All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
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Nov 24 '16
👌👽👌👽👌👽 ayy lmao ayyy lmao good lmao👌 thats ✔ some ayyy👌👌lamayo right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do LMAO so my self 💯 i ayyy so 💯 thats what im probing about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌AAAYYYYyyyyYYYYYyyyyyyʸʸʸʸʸʸʸʸ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👽👽👽👌👌ayy lmao
(all credit to r/emojipasta)
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u/CollapsingStar Nov 26 '16
Hwæt didon gē efne becwetan ymb mēc, þū lytel bicce? Ic gewilt geāgnian gē cunnan Ic fāran hīehþ in mīn burig in sē Lāgu-fyrd Siels, ond Ic bēon eac in manig deogol gefeohtan on Æl - Ceada ond Ic geāgnian ofer Þrīe-hunden acwellan. Ic ahebban orlege in gorilla hiw, ond Ic bēon sē ēoldre fyrdrinc in æt sē US fyrd. Eow bēon nānwuht to mēc ac efne sūm wælsc. Ic gewilt ofslean Þū sē fuck onweg eac cræft næfre lōclōcan on sē EōrÞ, gehlystan mīn rūnas. Gē mōd Þū canne sōcn from eac spræc swā Þā on sē internet? Cunnan eft, fucker. Wīt spræc swā ic spræc eac mīn deogol sætere on Þū IP is bēon hūntōÞ nū swā gē eaxle ge-gearwian for Þā scur. Ðā scur Þā ofsleans ūt Þā līðung lytel nēadÞing gē nama eow cwic. Ðū bēon fucking dead, bærn. Ic bēon in æt lands on æt tīd, on Ic canne ofslean gē in ofer sēonfen-hund þēawas, ond Þā efne eac mīn folme. Nīc Ic bēon wātan in orlege, ac I geāgnian Þā ansund US fyrd in mēc folme ond Ic gewilt brōc sē to sē rihtcynn to forleosan eow beæften fran sē land, Þū lytel cwēad. Gē wāta hwa eow lytel līst bēot form beran ofdūne on Þū, gē form geāgian æstandan eow fuhking āslīden, ac gē cūÞen nīc, cūÞen Þū? Gē gōdāwiergan dwæs. Ic gewilt dung gēris æt ofer Þū ond Þū gewilt besencan in Þā. Gē bēon ealdorlēas bærn.
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u/I_AlsoDislikeThat Nov 25 '16
Do you got the original thread to that? I need to see the context for this.
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u/Dirtybrd Nov 25 '16
Oh absolutely. Darqwolff is a bit of a legend in the metasphere.
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Nov 24 '16
No /u pings. If someone's not already in SRD, do not ping their names. Your comment will be removed.
u/JebusGobson smells and, may Allah forgive me for uttering such words, is Belgian.
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Nov 24 '16
I like it when you order us around. Now spit on us and call us worthless! Ah, that's the stuff....
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u/SamWhite Nov 24 '16
You will find that I am neither, many SJWs are on the verge of truth, I am sympathetic to their plight. Yet, their approach is mainly the social aspect, sometimes the political, and some manage to stroke economics. I am a few steps ahead, I consider myself a Femme-Genderqueer Pansexual. Gender is not a two way street, but a magnificent spectrum of color, emotions, feelings, identities. Broaden your eyes, and see the truth.
I have been a Communist for many years, I have read and can espouse a variety of femlit, POClit, progressive, critical theory, historical and neoscientific ideas relating to the downfall of the bourgeoisie reactionary structures that exist within global society. I have been described by many as very perceptive and intelligent, more so than the inbred mutated excuses of the white supremacists and the bourgeois.
I have been a direct part of several Communist and Anarchist demonstrations, meetings, and other related gatherings. I can bash the fash, my soul does not break. I can thrash the skulls of my enemies to the ground and go home, sit by the fire, and read, The Communist Manifesto for the umpteenth time, the words are familiar to me, yet I can make them sing like a choir of angels within my abode.
I have talked about how I've honed my mind, but my body and soul are just as honed. You would find me a very challenging opponent in any aspect you can think of. Some may jest when they say, "Fight me" but I have no sarcasm in that word, I have fought physically before. I have the fury, I have the skill, don't think me a keyboard warrior. I can lift heavy, I can be quick, I can starve, I can scream. Don't mistake my femme-genderqueer status to make me a flower, I am a thorn.
If you had sense, you'd all likely tremble and see the light.
Yet, I'm sure you can't grasp what I'm saying, you're another product of the structures made to preserve this antiquated and decaying regime that is the Patriarchy, Capitalism, ethnonationalism, etc.
You mock me because you think you're in the right, that your side will be victorious. You could never be more wrong. We've faced tougher than you, we've spoiled Tsars and dictators, we've brought Nazis to their knees. We've touched the stars while the Fascists were figuring out to pick their pitiful feet off the ground. We have enlightened the masses, brought literacy, prosperity, and peace to many places across this globe. We've done all this in less than a century. This is not a challenge we've not faced before. You are just another enemy, just another hurdle, but we will overcome.
We are what makes the bourgeoisie tremble in its boots.
I can go into your spaces, I can debunk your pitiful rationalizations and excuses for your racism. Except now you've really got me upset. Trump will not last, I can assure you that. I'd be aware, I'd heed every word, you're talking to the very incarnation of a New Soviet Man, I am a beacon to the oppressed, we all are.
I will give you this chance, you will either join us, oppose us, or fall into line as the rest of them will. I would regret to see another face in the gulag, or on the end of a rope, but trust me now, I will not hesitate to do whatever is necessary to protect the future of the proletariat, the future of humanity.
I am extending my arm, either you apologize for your impudence, or I will mark you now, I will mark you a fool and a threat to the revolution. You have been given a warning, a chance to ascend the limits of your indoctrinated mind, but it won't come again, not from me.
You could be just another minion of the tyrants, or you could be a hero of the new future of humanity. I do not hate you, but I will do what is necessary. The enemy is not us, it is those who steal your wealth, your dignity, and your environment.
Join us, or forever be opposed and defeated by us. I am not to be trifled with, I can assure you that.
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u/The_Reason_Trump_Won Nov 24 '16
-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲___卐卐卐卐 Don't mind me just taking my mods for a walk
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Nov 24 '16
Holy shit. Hillary Clinton came into my room to bring me a plate of cheese pizza and I literally screamed at her and hit the pizza out of her hoof. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the cellar door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to Clinton but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. What the fucking fuck is he doing? This can't be fappening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe reddit is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Spez to be president and fix this broken 1984. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well for Harambe???? This is so fucked.
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Nov 24 '16
It's almost 1 am and I just took a massive shit (wtf is up with my bowel movement timing??)
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u/DemonicSavage Nov 24 '16
I'm an old SRD user. Why don't I get a fancy stickied modpost????