r/SubredditDrama • u/buartha ◕_◕ • Dec 21 '14
'Buttfuckingly pointless' slapfight in /r/relationship_advice over whether men and women can have platonic friendships.
/r/relationship_advice/comments/2psgfi/gf_22f_invites_male_friend_over_without_asking_me/cmzmfyn?context=162
u/JennThereDoneThat Dec 21 '14
I don't get it. Are there really people out there who have never had a meaningful, non sexual relationship with a person of the opposite gender?
It's such a basic, simple thing, how can they possibly go through life and somehow manage to avoid it?
It makes no sense to me, and I feel badly for anyone who hasn't ever had a friend of the opposite gender. It just seems like a small way to live.
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u/CatWhisperer5000 Dec 21 '14
My best friend is a lady and it's interesting to how guys react to it. Quite a few are convinced that I'm in the friendzone and/or in it for the long haul or something.
There's one common thread among all the guys who are like that about it and it's that they're the dudes who pretty much see women exclusively as fuckobjects, hence not being able to imagine any other reason for me to hang out with her.
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u/SevenLight Dec 21 '14
It's not really their fault. Society has separated the genders so much - a lot of people don't expect to have much in common with people of the opposite sex. And a lot of people will only bother maintaining contact with someone of the opposite sex if they are interested in them romantically/sexually, which can be really frustrating when you're just trying to make friends.
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u/JennThereDoneThat Dec 21 '14
I just don't agree with you that "society has separated the genders so much". I do think that women and men are enculturated differently, but most people go to public school, and work in jobs that employ both women and men.
How can you live with people, and go to school with them, and work with them, and honestly think that you have nothing in common with your own classmates, or coworkers? How can you get through your entire life only maintaining sexual relationships with 50% of the population?
It just seems like it would take conscious effort on someone's part to never be friends with half of humanity.
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Dec 21 '14
Of course they can! I'm gay and I have lot--
I'm talking about your standard straight humans.
Oh. ༼ ◉ ╭╮ ◉༽
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u/BiAsALongHorse Dec 21 '14
I wonder where that leaves me. I must be incapable of friendship.
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u/Bossmonkey Dec 21 '14
Wouldn't being friends with straight people of same gender count though?
Also like how they had to specify humans
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Dec 21 '14 edited Dec 21 '14
Your husband being friends with lesbians don't count, I'm talking about your standard straight humans. It's not paranoia at all, these are facts.
Didn't you know? Lesbians aren't real women! Duh! It's a fact.
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u/beccamarieb Dec 21 '14 edited Oct 27 '23
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u/csreid Dec 21 '14
I don't understand why you need to think your friends are gross to not want to fuck them.
Like, I don't want to fuck my female friends, but I absolutely would if the alternative was gargling diarrhea. I might even enjoy it. Some of them are cute. Hell, I'd even fuck my male friends before I gargled diarrhea.
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u/JehovahsHitlist Dec 21 '14
I suspect it's more that she's so close to them friendship-wise and is happily married so that she'd rather gargle poop than ruin any of that.
I'm going to be honest here though. Weak-willed though I am, if I was forced to choose between sleeping with a friend and gargling poop, I'd have my pants off before you could say mouthwash.
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Dec 21 '14
Do people really tell roommate and bfs every time they invite someone over? I invite people over all the time and we hang out and sometimes my roommates would show up and whatever. Like if I had to call my roommate for permission for my friends to come and visit every time, they'd get annoyed and I'd get annoyed.
I can understand if I was say inviting 20 people over for a party that's a big deal but my friends show up after work or spontaneous hanging out and I'm not going to call 3 people every time.
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u/backforth Dec 21 '14
Eh, it depends. When I've lived places where we didn't have people over often, I'd usually text to give them a heads up. But it's more of a courtesy to make sure they're fully dressed and/or not doing anything embarrassing right when we walk in.
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u/BolshevikMuppet Dec 21 '14
Hey, I'm sure they're like that with their male friends, too. If it doesn't result in their penis getting shoved in one orifice or another, it's a waste of time.
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u/thesilvertongue Dec 21 '14
If men and women can't be freinds because of sexual tension, does that mean bi people have no freinds? Poor bi people.
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u/larrylemur Dec 21 '14
If they DON'T want to have sex with you, it's because there is a more attractive woman in the office.
So people are only interested in having sex with the most attractive person they know? That's rich
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u/shamelessfool Dec 21 '14
I've seen this argument a few times (think Jersey Shore made it worse) and I don't understand it. I guess it only applies to straight guys, because if it applies to gay dudes then none of my friendships are real I guess.
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u/Moritani Dec 21 '14
"Now ya see, yer standard human comes with a hetrasexual chassis. But, if ya wanna upgrade to homo, it's only another fifty bucks."