r/WritingPrompts • u/AliciaWrites Editor-in-Chief | /r/AliciaWrites • Feb 16 '25
Theme Thursday [TT] Theme Thursday - Eternity
“To live in the hearts we leave behind is to live forever.”
Happy Thursday, writing friends!
Very sorry for the super late post! I hope y’all have enough time to write for this one!
Please note that every week, you must leave a comment on the post to be able to rank! Good luck and good words!
![[IP]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/10c937eb-abaf-4347-a7f5-31b28cae92f6/d5lpfy1-bf9a1063-9591-4f7d-81c3-f6955b790620.jpg/v1/fit/w_600,h_585,q_70,strp/dreaming_by_alina0_d5lpfy1-375w-2x.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NTg1IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvMTBjOTM3ZWItYWJhZi00MzQ3LWE3ZjUtMzFiMjhjYWU5MmY2XC9kNWxwZnkxLWJmOWExMDYzLTk1OTEtNGY3ZC04MWMzLWY2OTU1Yjc5MDYyMC5qcGciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9NjAwIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmltYWdlLm9wZXJhdGlvbnMiXX0.fLSRQSpp9v6OOLI32JIfZ1nDsQMzesIvltXCmyyGHlg){kind=link}
Bonus:
(These constraints are not required! If your story is better for not including them, please do what’s best for your work!)
Constraint: (10 pts)
Your story should not include any internal dialogue. Please note at the end of your post if you’ve included this constraint.
Word of the Day: (5 pts)
peripatetic/per·i·pa·tet·ic/ˌperəpəˈtedik/
adjective
traveling from place to place, in particular working or based in various places for relatively short periods
Aristotelian
noun
a person who travels from place to place
an Aristotelian philosopher
Here's how Theme Thursday works:
- Use the tag [TT] when submitting prompts that match this week’s theme.
Theme Thursday Rules
- Leave one story or poem between 100 and 500 words as a top-level comment. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count.
- Deadline: 7:59 AM CST next Wednesday
- No serials, established universes, or stories that have been written for another prompt or feature here on WP
- No previously written content
- Any stories not meeting these rules will be disqualified from rankings and will not be read at campfires
- Does your story not fit the Theme Thursday rules? You can post your story as a [PI] with your work when the TT post is 3 days old!
- Give (at least) 2 actionable feedback comments to fellow writers. You can give critique at campfires, but you must leave a comment on the post to rank
- Vote to help your favorites rise to the top of the ranks! I also post the form to submit votes for Theme Thursday winners on Discord every week! Join and get notified when the form is open for voting!
Don’t forget to use genre tags!
Theme Thursday Discussion Section:
- Discuss your thoughts on this week’s theme, or share your ideas for upcoming themes.
Campfire
- On Wednesdays we host Theme Thursday Campfire on the Discord voice lounge. Join us to read your story aloud, hear other stories, and have a blast discussing writing!
- Time: Morning campfire is back! /u/FyeNite hosts at 11 am CST and I’ll be hosting 7 pm CST and both will begin within about 15 minutes.
- Don’t forget to sign up for a campfire slot on discord. If you don’t sign up, you won’t be put into the pre-set order and we can’t accommodate any time constraints. We don’t want you to miss out on outstanding feedback, so get to discord and use that
!TTcommand! - There’s a Theme Thursday role on the Discord server, so make sure you grab that so you’re notified of all Theme Thursday-related news!
As a reminder to all of you writing for Theme Thursday: the interpretation is completely up to you! I love to share my thoughts on what the theme makes me think of but you are by no means bound to these ideas! I love when writers step outside their comfort zones or think outside the box, so take all my thoughts with a grain of salt if you had something entirely different in mind.
(This week’s quote is from Carl Sagan)
Ranking Categories:
- Word of the Day - 5 points
- Bonus Constraint - 10 points
- Weekly Challenge - 25 points for not using the theme word - points off for uses of synonyms. The point of this is to exercise setting a scene, description, and characters without leaning on the definition. Not meeting the spirit of this challenge only hurts you! This includes titles and explanations/author's notes.
- Actionable Feedback - 15 points for each story you give detailed crit to, up to 30 points. One of your comments must be on the post.
- Nominations - 10 points for each nomination your story receives
- Ali’s Ranking - 50 points for first place, 40 points for second place, 30 points for third place, 20 points for fourth place, 10 points for fifth, plus regular nominations (On weeks that I participate, I do not weight my votes, but instead nominate just like everyone else.)
- Voting - 15 points for submitting your favorites via this form (form will be open after the deadline has passed.)
—
Last week’s theme: Disorder
First by /u/Divayth--Fyr
Second by /u/Xacktar
Third by /u/deepstea
News and Reminders:
2
u/Bemused-Gator Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 20 '25
Weapon
I remember the first time like it was yesterday. A jaw bone and a fit of rage, and I was born. It kept going after that; just rocks and clubs at first, but then they started getting clever. Contraptions that could throw stones farther and faster than an arm. Levers and rope and cloth to make slings and atlatls
Then came manufacturing: arrows and spears first, then knives, axes, swords, and more. The advances sped by, taking me from place to place. Each new invention brought me to preside over it, swelling my essence as more and more items and stories and anecdotes became part of me. Things soon started to slow down after the initial surge of metallurgy, and I was able to have a long semi-hibernation.
The occasional new invention - the changes from bronze to iron to steel, or the distinction between swords and rapiers and sabres - would bring me, sleepy, out into the world. A peripatetic hermit popping by every few hundred years just to see the newest method of doing what animals have always done to each other.
And then civilization grew up.
A wise man once described cannon fire as the “civilized” way to solve a conflict - after all it takes civilization to make a cannon, and a cannonball, and gunpowder; a ship and a crew to man her; the admiralty to decide where to send the ship, a government to appoint the admiralty.
So I follow civilization like a bad smell. Inventors, patriots, panicked soldiers, and more - both using me and adding to me. The best and the worst of them feel my caress - Oppenheimer and Haber in their laboratories, and John and Fitz in the trenches.
But I'm too big now. I'm tired, I'm stretched too thin, and encompass too much. I just want to go back to sleep. With dread I watch as civilization marches on, and I am pulled again and again from my fitful slumber, forced to absorb more and more into myself, watching my form become diluted and engorged.
But I’m stuck here as long as humans know me, and I am as immortal as the humans are mortal. My life is tied to their death.
So I live, flitting from field to field, seeing the worst of this species that gives me life, and hoping that eventually someone slips and destroys civilization - just so the next war will be fought with sticks and stones.
Because at this point all I want is a good, long nap.
~~ bonus word was worded, and there was no internal dialogue!
1
u/tiredraccoon11 Feb 20 '25
Hey Bemused! Funny meeting you here :D
To begin with some praise, I’m pleasantly surprised with the direction you took the prompt. The history and nature of warfare is a particular interest of mine, and I loved hearing your spin on the constant of armed, violent conflict. I find it interesting that you characterize weaponry, as an abstract concept, as becoming weary in the end. It makes me wonder what the author thinks about the future of war and humanity…
One thing that I did notice was a pretty liberal use of fragments, or sentences that aren’t quite independent/grammatically complete. Fragments aren’t necessarily incorrect and thus evil, but they should be used with care, typically for emphasis. When there’s too many of them, the flow starts to feel disjointed. Beginning a sentence with a conjunction (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So) is in the same boat; reserved for emphasis, and too many jumbles up the flow.
There’s also a bit of repetitive rhythm in the very beginning. A lot of short sentences make it feel choppy, before it smooths out toward the middle. In the middle, however, some commas, shorter sentences, and maybe even a dash or two might help keep things refreshing.
> After the initial surge of metallurgy wore off I had a long semi-hibernation.
There ought to be a period between the clauses of this sentence (between "off" and "I"), as the first is dependent, and the second is independent.
> iron to steel or the distinction
Should be a comma before "or" here.
> after all it takes
Should be a comma after "after all."
> And so I live,
I said the same thing to Max, "and so" is one of those phrases that some lesser individuals try to convince you belong places, and they belong nowhere! Do your part in their extermination!
> civilization; so that
Not quite sure that a semicolon fits here. Maybe a comma instead?
Good words!
4
u/Ryter99 Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 20 '25
The light has gone out of my life. There is no joy to be found, not even momentary solace, not since she departed my world.
My mother had been an angel, sent from heaven as far as I was concerned. She’d spent her life solely focused on my well being, meeting my every need, no matter how trivial, and loving me unconditionally.
She’s been for gone endless ages now, but still, I lament what I’ve lost. Sitting on the living room floor, I glance at the front door of our empty house, imagining her stepping inside just one more time.
It’s a silly daydream, of course, but—
My ears perk up at the sound of metal jingling on metal. Could those be… keys?
The thought is too joyous to consider, but I can’t contain my tail from wagging at the sound of lock itself turning. To my shock, the door opens and In steps my long lost mother.
My long lost mother smiles and greets me as if she hasn’t been gone forever.
“Heyyyyyyy, Milo,” she coos. “Ya miss me while I was at the post office?”
Though she speaks only gibberish in her strange, barkless barks, her voice is still such a comfort to me.
I flop at her feet, receiving belly scratches and ‘good boys’ that hit all the right spots. She’s back! And all is right with my world.
“You hungry for dinner, buddy?” she asks.
Finally a word with some meaning. Dinner? Yes, please! I sit at attention, behaving just how I imagine someone deserving of delicious food should behave.
“Alll right,” she says, stepping over me. “I’ve just gotta pee real quick and then I’ll whip you up a feast!”
My excitement fades as she does not head toward the kitchen, instead stepping into the small room with the forbidden, always full, white water bowl.
She turns, smiles at me, and closes the door without a second thought.
I whine and claw at the door, desperate to alert her that I’ve been forgotten, that I should join her wherever she journeys! But there is no reply.
The light fades from my life. She is gone, never to return.
2
u/Bemused-Gator Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 19 '25
What a wonderful story. That poor puppy :( forced wait for like FOREVER all the time.
I don't have much in the way of crit for you, word choice is excellent and the story is very clear. However I did see a couple places where a paragraph break seemed extraneous and made the story feel a little less cohesive. Especially "...could those be keys? The thought is too joyous..."; "...still such a comfort to me. I flop at her feet..."; "...white water bowl. She turns, smiles at me..."
Good words!
2
5
u/tiredraccoon11 Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 20 '25
At the end of space and time, Death found him.
Cast adrift in a collapsing void, once lush with stars and energetic matter, he slouched upon the bulkhead. Faint artificial light, perhaps the last in the universe, flickered upon his wan face. He watched the final darkness swirl behind a window. Calamity had already ushered all others into Death’s welcome; this single male was all that persisted of an empire spanning, quite literally, everything.
Cold rippled across the man’s fragile warmth. Death appeared amid a lengthy flicker. It loomed over the man, its simple black robes a sharp contrast to his cluttered white exosuit. His breast read MALCOLM, THOMAS J.
Death had drained stars, reaped galaxies, devoured energy until singularities disappeared. For the prize of perfect, eternal stewardship, Death found him… disappointing.
The man, Malcolm, hardly glanced up. “I was wondering if you’d come for me.” He fetched a plastoid box from his side, rummaged around it. Various items rattled and *tink*ed inside. Death recognized a few from its association with humans; obsidian arrowheads, a spyglass, some Roman coins, a gunpowder handgun, quantum dice, a Computex satisfaction drive, a reality stencil, and an elemental energy cell, its near-infinite charge depleted. Others remained an enigma.
Eventually, he withdrew a carton of—
“Cigarettes.” Malcolm shook the worn paper box, its vivid designs faded to illegibility. Using an ancient lighter, he set one aglow. “Been saving ‘em for the occasion, if it ever happened. Want one?”
Death said nothing, only loomed.
“Just saying, this is your last chance. Or maybe not.” The spacefarer shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. Make yourself comfortable, at least. I’d hate to be the only one sitting.”
After a moment, Death deigned to sit beside him and took the proferred cigarette, though it had no real use for either.
“You once eluded me,” Death rumbled. “When your kind knew little, and feared much.”
“Indeed,” Malcolm agreed. “None of your *guests* came back to tell of the other side, not even after Madicelli’s restoration pods. I suppose I never trusted that.
“But I’ll admit, immortality isn’t—wasn’t, how I thought. I watched my people pull and tug against themselves, until they spilled across the stars. I’ve tasted every pleasure ever devised, left behind everyone I ever knew. Across my peripatetic life, I saw civilizations rise and fall, destroyed or replaced. The eons of starlight were only a spark, even this darkness just a lull.”
Malcolm took another long pull, released it gradually. “I don’t like to think much, else my wits would have left me ages ago, but I’ve learned a few things. I guessed, maybe hoped, this was coming. Everything is ending, as it always would have. Even me.
“My only regret,” he laughed, “is how long it took me to figure that out.”
“Indeed,” Death rasped. “You are… ready?”
Malcolm flicked his spent butt away. “To join the rest of the universe? Of course.” He smirked. “You know, I’m starting to think eternity was only ever an illusion.”
--------------------------------------
WC: 500
Bonus word and constraint used
Crit and feedback welcome
1
u/Ryter99 Feb 20 '25
Hi TiredRaccoon, I wasn't able to talk during your crit time at campfire so just wanted to leave some thoughts for you here. I really liked this story, even an immortal life coming to an end at the end of time and space is a really interesting area to explore and I think you did it very well.
I struggled to find crit feedback for this, but one overarching thought I can give you is that I thought Death's presence gets a little "lost" once Malcom starts monologuing. I think its a valid choice to have Death be completely unemotional and uninterested in conversation even when personified as a grim reaper type figure, and a great line like "Death said nothing, only loomed" fits with the character simply being a presence in the story. But once Death chose to sit and took the cigarette, I expected a bit more agency or activity from them for the rest of the piece. I'd say, perhaps just lean a bit more in either direction (an inevitable force that happens to have appeared in this form vs a character that is interacting with the protagonist and the physical space)
That's all I've got for this. I thought this was a very strong piece with a unique POV that's endlessly fascinating to think about. And more generally, I really like your writing style, it's very evocative and draws me in as a reader. Hope to read more of your words in the future! :)
→ More replies (1)2
u/Bemused-Gator Feb 19 '25
This has a great feel to it. What happens to an immortal at the end of time? I guess they do have to stop eventually. Very enjoyable.
My only crit is that in paragraph two "his breast read Malcom..." I thought that it was death that had the name tag and the white exo suit, not the human. Other than that it was all smooth.
Excellent words!
2
u/AstroRide Feb 19 '25 edited Feb 20 '25
Aeschyulus
Aeschyulus hobbled into the gates of Leonoxis on his walking stick. His back was arched, and his neck was craned to absorb the citizenry. They were dressed in their finest clothes and exchanged goods and services at the market. The anaktora had the appropriate columns and guards. He was allowed entrance to the throne room where King Pantelis and his uncle Paris awaited.
"You should've given us more time. If we had known you would be gracing us with your presence, we would've arranged for a celebration," Paris said.
"I am not amused by temporary events of hedonistic excess. My peripatetic life requires constant ascetic practices," Aeschyulus replied. Paris looked to his nephew.
"See. What did I say? This philosopher is perfect for our kingdom," Paris said. Pantelis stroked his chin.
"At which school did you study?"
"Experience is an effective mentor."
"Have you written dialogues or dramas?" Pantelis asked.
"Knowledge was meant to be transmitted orally."
"Pantelis, you are too suspicious. This man's wisdom has spread amongst the countryside and reached several of my soldiers. They state that he changed their perspective on life," Paris said.
"If that's so, may I have a morsel of your sagacity?" Pantelis said.
"Such examinations while understandable do not produce satisfactory results. For how I am to know that my response will not be deemed too mundane or obtuse?" Aeschyulus smiled.
"He's got you there," Paris whispered.
"If that's the case, I see no reason to retain him. I am inquisitive and find value in even the most false of statements."
"The characteristic of an ideal ruler. I will oblige your request." Aeschyulus cleared his throat and stood still for several seconds. "The winds of a sunset are often deceptive. They bring a great many surprises and challenges."
"What brilliance." Paris put his hand on Pantelis's shoulder. "We must have him as an advisor."
"I am still uncertain," Pantelis said.
"Come now. That man is the perfect philosopher. He is aged and hunched. He even walks with a cane," Paris said.
"You are correct. Come forward," Pantelis said. Aeschyulus obeyed. Pantelis turned to his uncle. "Do you see how his cane lacks rhythm? It often compensates for a weak limb yet neither seems particularly faulty. Additionally, the base of his hair contains brown follicles."
"Ergh." Aeschyulus stood up straight. "Alright, you got me. I thought I could get at least a few weeks here before you figured it out. You are smart."
"Thank you," Pantelis smiled.
"But his words were so rich and meaningful," Paris gasped.
"He used multisyllabic words, and his statemen twas 'never trust a fart,'" Pantelis said.
"Oh." Paris backed away in shame.
"Are you going to have me arrested?" Aeschyulus asked.
"No, you may go," Pantelis said. Aeschyulus bowed and ran away.
"What is the reason for such leniency?" Paris asked.
"Simple. He's going to go to another polity and spread his lies there." Pantelis smiled. "Weakening them further."
WC 490. All conditions met.
→ More replies (2)
1
u/AliciaWrites Feb 16 '25
Theme Thursday Discussion:
Please remember to follow the subreddit rules in any feedback.
🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord