[OT] Micro Monday: The Phone Booth!

[u/OldBayJ]

Welcome to Micro Monday

Hello writers and welcome to Micro Monday! It’s time to sharpen those micro-fic skills. What is micro-fic, you ask? Micro-fiction is generally defined as a complete story (hook, plot, conflict, and some type of resolution) written in 300 words or less. For this exercise, it needs to be at least 100 words (no poetry).

However, less words doesn’t mean less of a story. The key to micro-fic is to make careful word and phrase choices so that you can paint a vivid picture for your reader. Less words means each word does more!

Each week, I provide a simple constraint or jumping-off point to get your minds working. This rotates between simple prompts, sentences, images, songs, and themes. You’re free to interpret the weekly constraints how you like as long as you follow the post and subreddit rules. Please read the entire post before submitting.

 

---

This week’s challenge:

• Image Prompt: The Phone Booth

• Bonus Constraint: Use at least 3 of the following words:

• static

• wheedle

• coin

• plead

• farrago

• dubious

This week’s challenge is to use the above image as inspiration for your story. You may use any part of the image you like, as long as the connection is clear and you follow all post and sub rules.. The bonus constraint is not required.

Note: Don’t forget to vote for your favorites next Monday! (The form usually opens at about 11:30am EST Monday.) You get points just for voting.

You can check out previous Micro Mondays here.

 

---

How To Participate

• Submit a story between 100-300 words in the comments below. You have until Sunday at 11:59pm EST. (No poetry.)

• Use wordcounter.net to check your word count. The title is not counted in your final word count. Stories under 100 words or over 300 will be disqualified from campfire readings and rankings.

• No pre-written content allowed. Submitted stories should be written for this post, exclusively. Micro serials are acceptable, but please keep in mind that each installment should be able to stand on its own and be understood without leaning on previous installments.

• Come back throughout the week, read the other stories, and leave them some feedback on the thread. You have until 2pm EST Monday to get your feedback in. Only actionable feedback will be awarded points. See the ranking scale below for a breakdown on points.

• Please follow all subreddit rules and be respectful and civil in all feedback and discussion. We welcome writers of all skill levels and experience here; we’re all here to improve and sharpen our skills. You can find a list of all sub rules here.

• Nominate your favorite stories at the end of the week using this form. You have until 2pm EST next Monday to submit nominations. (Please note: The form does not open until Monday morning, after the story submission deadline.)

• And most of all, be creative and have fun! If you have any questions, feel free to ask them on the stickied comment on this thread or through modmail.

 

---

Campfire

• On Mondays at 12pm EST, I host a Campfire on our Discord server. We read all the stories from the weekly thread and provide live feedback for those who are present. Come join us to read your own story and listen to the others! You can come to just listen, if that’s more your speed. Everyone is welcome!

 

---

How Rankings are Tallied

We have a new point system!

TASK	POINTS	ADDITIONAL NOTES
Use of the Main Prompt/Constraint	up to 50 pts	Requirements always provided with the weekly challenge
Use of Bonus Constraint	10 pts	(unless otherwise noted)
Actionable Feedback	up to 15 pts each (5 crit max)	You’re always welcome to provide more crit, but points are capped at 75
Nominations your story receives	20 pts each	No cap
Bay’s Nominations	20 - 50 pts	First- 50 pts, Second- 40 pts, Third- 30 pts, plus regular noms
Voting for others	10 pts	Don’t forget to vote before 2pm EST every week!

Users who go above and beyond with feedback (more than 2 in-depth, actionable crits) will be awarded Crit Credits that can be used on r/WPCritique. Note: Interacting with a story is not the same as feedback.  

---

Rankings for Last Week

Rankings will be postponed until next week. Due to the voting form opening up late, you now have until Tuesday (tomorrow) at 2pm EST to submit your votes for last week (Summer Vacation)!

---

Subreddit News

• Join our Discord to chat with authors, prompters, and readers! We hold several weekly Campfires, monthly Worldbuilding interviews, and other fun events!

• Experiment with tropes and different genres with the brand new feature Fun Trope Friday on r/WritingPrompts!

• Explore your self-established world every week on Serial Sunday!

• You can also post serials to r/Shortstories, outside of Serial Sunday. Check out this post to learn more!

• Looking for more in-depth critique for a story? Check out our new sub r/WPCritique!

  ---

[u/OldBayJ]

Welcome to Micro Monday!

• Top-level comments are for stories only.

• Feel free to make suggestions for future posts or ask questions on this stickied comment! I'd love to hear your ideas.

[u/mR-gray42]

“The Hotline”

He slipped two coins into the slot, then dialed the number. In his current state, William knew that his odds of finding a “safe place” were slim at best. However, it was better than leaving his fate to chance with the awful creatures outside. They congregated around the phone booth, their ghastly voices almost clouding his ears like static. The vermillion light blazing forth from the booth seemed to repel them. Each time one would reach a shadowy, clawed hand, it would suddenly recoil and screech in agony and rage.

The phone rang twice, then a casual voice on the other end picked up. “Thank you for calling the Psychopomp Services Hotline. To whom am I presently speaking, and what is the nature of your call?” “Yes, hi, my name is William O’Hara. I need safe passage to--” He was startled by one of the beasts lunging forward, again to no avail. “Don’t worry about them; they can’t hurt you. Now you were saying?” “R-right. I need safe passage to the afterlife.” There was muttering on the other end, then the voice said, “We’ll be sending a car your way shortly. In the meantime, stay in the booth. They can’t hurt you unless you leave it without the car nearby.” And so he waited for a good ten minutes that seemed like an eternity. All of a sudden, a car emitting the same light as the booth appeared, and the creatures shrieked and scuttled back into the dark corners. The door opened, and William hurried into the vehicle. As the door closed behind him, he watched as the mortal realm passed them by. He hoped he had made the right choice in dialing the Hotline.

[u/nogoodusernames0_0 → u/mR-gray42]

Great world building! Id recommend a slightly different usage for dubious. Also of course the story isn't complete but that wasn't what you were going for anyways.

[u/poiyurt]

<Collect Call>

"That's the one."

"You're sure?"

"Strongest reading since the art gallery in Houston."

"Alright. Going in."

Silas clambered out of the unmarked van, pulling his coat tighter around him to fend off the drizzle. Only the light of the nearby gas station illuminated him as he walked over to the old phone booth and yanked it open.

"Still watching you," came a voice through his earpiece. "Rifle's loaded - don't mess this up. I'd rather not have to shoot you."

He didn't bother responding to that. Instead, he entered the phone booth, a cacophony ringing out as the rain pelted against the roof. He wiped a dubious-looking stain on the receiver with his sleeve before raising it to his ear. Static hissed. Most would simply assume that the phone was broken and walk away - the sound leaving its indelible effects on their minds. Silas, however, was trained to listen beyond the farrago of white noise and the corrupted dial tone.

S'malik dumasse sans sibei, it whispered. Not good.

"Who am I speaking to?" he asked, but the static didn't change.

"Sharguma? Al-Dajjall? Qian Ya?" That last one finally got a reaction. The static howled, and the sky outside the booth turned a bloody red.

"Got your number," Silas grinned. "Now, the people I work for are going to bring the hammer down on you if you keep up this little expansion plan. Or you could take this peace offering and fuck off back to wherever you came."

He popped a little silver coin into the slot, engraved with a face from no mortal monarch and runes from no human script. After a moment, the static began to die down, and the sky outside faded back to a deep blue. Silas breathed a sigh of relief, and put the receiver back down.

---

<300 words>

[u/oliverjsn8 → u/poiyurt]

Poiyurt your making it difficult to make critics. I liked your story and am ready to give my two-cents.

The following sentence was a bit hard to read at least for me as I wanted to take it a different way: “Instead, he entered the phone booth, a cacophony ringing out from the rain pelting against the roof.” I for some reason kept wanting to read it as the phone was ringing as well as the rain was pelting creating a cacophony of sounds together. After a few more reads I interpret it as only the rain was making sound. This left me wondering why did this phone booth get special attention then, apart from generic readings? A phone booth that rang out on its own could do this for the story within the 300 word constraint.

“Sharguma? Al-Dajjall? Qian Ming?” I guess my (maybe only my) problem is with the last name. It hits me more like a person’s name than the other two. It just feels out of place to me compared to the other two. Almost like ‘DemonName1, MiddleEasternDemonName2, Bob Smith.”

“Rifle’s loaded…” I’m not familiar with the phrase. Is it like Locked and Loaded (ready to go), Cocked and Loaded, etc. So it makes me read it as he has a rifle aimed at a phone booth if things go wrong.

[u/GingerQuill → u/poiyurt]

Hi Poiyurt! I really like the concept you have here.

I just have two pieces of crit:

First: "The world was safe - for now." You did such an amazing job showing the world was saved with the sky returning to normal that you could honestly cut that line. I think Silas breathing a sigh of relief and returning the phone to the receiver was the stronger ending line.

Second: "Still watching you," came a voice through his earpiece. "Rifle's loaded - don't mess this up." This line left me a little confused by Silas's relationship with his colleagues. For a moment I thought he was being threatened, forced to make the phone call, that if he messed up, they'd shoot him. Judging by the rest of the story, I'm guessing that's not the case? If this character speaking is supposed to be a comrade, you may just want to reword so that the dialogue is more clear that they have Silas's back. Maybe "We've got an eye out. All clear to keep moving" or something like that.

But that's all I got. Great words!

[u/reddeetin]

Repaired

With a coffee in hand, I strolled down the streets to get inspiration for my writing. I carefully observed a farrago of slices of life.

A little boy pleading for ice cream. Two rock pigeons landing on a lamppost. A middle-aged woman coming out of the phone booth. A dog run-

Wait.

Did I see that correctly? What was the person doing in the unusable phone booth anyways?

I double-checked.

Hmm... The red paint was fresh. The broken glass was reinstalled. Did it get repaired? Only one way to find out.

A tiny sticker on the metallic surface caught my eye as I slowly closed the door behind me. It was handwritten. "Talk to yourself. 50 cents."

My static brain started turning gears. Hundreds of ideas bombarded my mind. I came to a crazy conclusion. What if I could speak to my younger self or future self through the phone? But there is no way. Right? It couldn't be.

Next second, I was searching for cents. Despite carrying a plethora of things in my backpack, I did not have any change. I quickly went back to the coffee shop.

Once again, I stood in front of the payphone with some coins I just wheedled. I was dubious. But there's no stopping the curious cat. I picked up the phone and slotted the coin in.

"Hello?"

No reply.

I knew it was unlikely to happen. But I gave it one more try.

Still silence.

I was hoping it would work. A little disappointed, I put down the phone. And when I reached for the glass door handle, I stared at my blurry reflection.

And then, it hit me.

I finally knew why that woman before came in here.

I turned around and inserted another 50 cents. Time to talk.

WC: 299

[u/ZachTheLitchKing → u/reddeetin]

Heya Red!

This was an interesting little story. I'm curious about the phone booth now and what it was supposed to do. Was the character supposed to just literally talk to themselves, like I do in the shower? Or is there a hidden meaning that got lost due to word count?

I'd love to see this fleshed out more. You can reduce the paragraph about the slices of life the POV character is seeing. Only three or four examples would suffice. Something like:

A kid pleading for ice cream. Two rock pigeons landing on a lamppost. A middle-aged woman coming out of the out-of-order phone booth. A dog runn-

That takes you down from 48 words to 26, giving you twenty-two additional words to play with :D

There are also a few odd choices of words and grammatical errors here.

This could be simplified to "With a coffee in hand"

With a coffee within my palms

You can remove the "as usual" and "inspiration" can be singular.

I strolled down the streets as usual to get inspirations for my writing.

This should be "get" not "got"

Did it got repaired?

This short piece could do with a run through Grammarly. The free version (the one I use) highlights a lot of common typos and little issues like those :) It's a good way to give your writing a little polish before submitting.

I also suggest reading it aloud to yourself, it's a great way to find things that sound off but look alright in writing.

I hope you can reclaim some words and give this short a more satisfying conclusion :D I really wanna know what the second chance is all about.

[u/commyhater7]

-Anthropology 101

"What is it?" Kieran asked.

"I'm not really sure," Sally replied.

They walked around and looked it over and over.

"It's a rectangular box, about 2 meters tall. It must have been important to them. It's anchored in the ground with large threaded rods, and a wire cable secures the top of it to a large wooden pole." Sally is reporting into her recorder.

"It has a door that's hinged in the middle." Kieran said excitedly as he slid the door open. "Inside is a small rectangular shaped object with a wire attached to some sort of odd shaped device. There's another rectangular object attached by a, " Kieran stopped to think. "CHAIN! It's a book. It has names and numbers. My grandpop told me about these. These were how you would call someone if you weren't at home. The book was how you find businesses to work on your house or car."

He thumbed the pages to the middle of the yellow ones.

"Bill's House of Pancakes located off route 101. Two lights after exit 56. 123 Main Street Anywhere, USA

"Wait, why were directions written in the book?" Sally asked.

"I don't know." Kieran said.

"Ending simulation." Drowned out their voices

"Well done, you two. Very scientific observations Sally. Kieran good use of your own personal knowledge. Now, what was the object that you saw?"

"It had an old style phone." Kieran said

"It was a rectangular shaped box." Sally added. "With a phone in it."

The two of them conferred for a few minutes.

"An office cubicle." They both said proudly.

"Oh so close. It's a phone booth. Well done. B plus to both of you. Ok, Jack and Bill you're up next in the VR simulation."

[u/GingerQuill → u/commyhater7]

Hi Commyhater7! This was a really fun piece. I always love futuristic anthropological stories analyzing 20-21st century Earth. It always gets me to chuckle.

My one bit of crit is just in the paragraph: "It's a rectangular box, about 2 meters tall. It must have been important to them. It's anchored in the ground with large threaded rods, and a wire cable secures the top of it to a large wooden pole." Sally is reporting into her recorder.

The words are fine. It's just the "Sally is reporting into her recorder" at the end. You could mention that earlier after "It's a rectangular box" so it reads "It's a rectangular box," Sally reported into her recorder, "about 2 meters tall." This way it just flows better and we get the image of her recording herself earlier on.

But that's all I've got! Great words!